top of page
Search
Writer's pictureFaina Ja

Become your own best friend

Updated: Oct 28, 2020

Hi there. Life is not easy. In fact, it might get pretty hard sometimes. I’ve gone through multiple ups and downs in my life (as probably you have as well) and I have come to several conclusions. I’ve created this blog to be able to share my experience with you. First and foremost, I always loved writing. I enjoy reading books and I guess the point of reading them is that at some point you’ve gathered enough of input, which went through your mind and eventually you come up with your own perspective on things, and in a similar way like a sponge - you take in and then you give back to the world. Otherwise it would be sort of egoistic, wouldn’t it? It took me a while to understand what to write about. Look at me – 25 years old, in 2020 creating another blog nobody asked for. What could possibly go wrong. And I guess that is a solid motivation on its own – if you have nothing to lose, why wouldn’t you give it a try? You might end up getting something you didn’t expect. 


A healthy expectation management is what helps me a lot throughout all of the areas in life. It’s better to set the bar low and be positively surprised than to be disappointed. But I think this applies only for small, short term goals – reading x amount of books a year, cleaning your apartment regularly or being punctual to every meeting. I am a very ambitious and goal-oriented kind of person, so I have to give myself a break sometimes. An acquaintance of mine once said – a perfectly clean house is a sign of a wasted life. Unless, of course, you have people to do it for you. But in my case – as long as things don't stick to surfaces, I’d rather catch up with my friends when I come home after a long day, even if the carpets haven’t heard from vacuum cleaner in weeks. 


I also believe in not forcing yourself to do anything. Life is already a suffering by itself so don’t make yourself miserable. If you know your motivation and your goals – the willingness to do the work will come by itself. I’m in the middle of a semester and should definitely be doing a lot of catching up with Maths and Programming, but I had this thought in my head, this tiny little nagging voice that wouldn’t leave me alone for days and decided to finally let it be free and face the daylight. You see, writing works like a purge to me – once I lay down my thoughts in words, I get rid of them and can concentrate on something else, which can possibly have a bigger priority at the moment. And do it a with a clear mind. Repeating the same thing nonstop will kill the joy of it. Even if it’s driving an expensive car, eating a steak or going on a date with your crush – eventually you get tired and want to take a nap or just scroll on your phone. It has nothing to do with how well the steak is done or if the crush has a great personality. Your basic human brain just gets bored and needs a new input and there’s nothing wrong with that. You adjust your ratio of work and pleasure according to your current situation and nothing will work better for you. So that’s why I also believe in time management (I know, a lot of management) and starting to plan early so you don’t pile up your tasks shortly before the deadline. 


The last thing I want to share with you today is one vital point of my mentality – understanding that you have to become your own best friend. You are the only one and most important thing in your life. You will spend your whole life – from birth till death – with yourself, so why not make it a nice company? Why not make yourself the kind of a person that you would always want to be surrounded with? Understand what you seek in your friends and significant others and strive to implement that into your own personality. People will see it and will be glad to have you around. In that case this puts you into the choosing position – now you decide who gets to spend time with you, not the other way around. And, of course, it satisfies your ego. A healthy ego is what protects us from being taken advantage of or being pushed around. Don’t be afraid to befriend your ego and it will push you forwards. 


Take care of your life and it will take care of you back.


Wash your hands and follow me on Instagram @fajaonfire


Love, Faja


56 views

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page