If you have never heard of this, I’m glad that you have now and that I get the honor of breaking this down to you. You in the first place are responsible for your life, for your goals and your choices in life. Being happy is a choice you make every day. Loving somebody is a choice you make every day. Staying in a relationship or a friendship is also a choice being made by you every single day. This simple truth is yet not as common as one would expect. It is selfish to blame your emotions on somebody who is or isn’t there. If you think that just having somebody by your side will fill up something missing in your life, then unfortunately I have to disappoint you. It will not and your problems will sooner or later catch up with you. That’s just how life works. That’s just how people were created.
It is important to be authentic and to know what is good for you. It is crucial to have your boundaries and to demand people respect them. Often in life you will end up being in situations where your comfort zone is going to be challenged by someone in your surroundings. It’s up to you if you stand up and create an uncomfortable moment for the sake of your own peace or if you just suck it up and tell to yourself it will pass by. It will not, once somebody sees they can overstep your boundaries, they will most likely do it again. So the important thing in this moment is to be honest with yourself and the person in front of you. Otherwise your resentment will only get bigger and keep eating you from the inside. It’s not bad to not please everybody all the time. Just think of how often you get disappointed by people in your life. In the end, you have to live your life and you are responsible for the order in your own household. Make sure it’s intact and you don’t end up living for the sake of satisfying everybody else but yourself.
If you can’t love yourself – how are you going to love somebody else? This phrase resonates with me very often and it took me a long time to actually realize what it meant. If you don’t know where to start, I’d suggest self-love and self-care. So often we’re told to be selfless and try to do as much good as possible for the less fortunate. There’s nothing bad with that, but before helping others you should help yourself. What I often encounter in people is poor emotional and mental health, chasing short-term happiness and not actually knowing what to do with their lives. I think these are crucial, ground-making questions everyone should ask themselves – what am I doing? Why am I doing this? What is happiness for me? Where do I want to go with this? It will help you with everything in your life – maintaining good healthy friendships, staying a good partner, good citizen, getting the jobs you want, making a career you always wanted. Self-confidence is not something you are born with – it is something you have to earn. It is your responsibility to create those pillars for yourself into which you can always lean back every time somebody questions your worth. If you know your worth and what you bring to the table, nobody can take it away from you. But you will always have a reasoning for why you should be chosen.
So the next time you end up feeling down or unhappy, I want you take responsibility and to ask yourself what YOU can do to make this better. What YOU can do to stop this from happening. What YOU can do to make life better for yourself and the people around you. Don’t rush into decisions, don’t follow the crowd and take your time. It’s fine to live by your own schedule and not to compete with anyone else but your past self. Don’t doubt yourself – just assume that you deserve a happy life, that you’re not worse and not better than anyone else. Make yourself better one step at a time and you will see how life and the world surrounding you changes with you.
Follow your heart, but don’t ignore your brain neither.
Love, Faja
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