Living amongst people is a survival necessity and is also highly entertaining. One should see it as a blessing, because for the longest time being by yourself meant you will not live long enough. It is only now, that we live in the (for the most part) safest times ever, one can see being alone as a luxury. But for the rest of us, the 99% “normals”, seeking validation, attention and company is just as common as ever before. So what are the one-percenters seeing in the loneliness, that we are missing?
Well, for starters, living in crowded places might come across as being loud, polluted and annoying – we are not talking about road rage, we are talking about walking-pace rage. Some people might choose it exactly for those reasons, since it is easy to get lost and blend-in, where nobody knows their neighbour’s name. Some might find it soothing and comforting, when looking for a fresh start or trying to forget and redefine oneself. But I think the most underrated poison of societies is comparison, which inevitably comes from exposure.
Now don’t get me wrong – exposure is everything. I wish I myself had more opportunities to meet interesting and inspiring people, since life nowadays isn’t the easiest to navigate and understand. But it can go left really quickly, if done the wrong way. Lacking the necessary tools to comprehend and appreciate fellow humans, not being able to put things into context can sometimes do more harm than anything else. Comparing things to one another is harmless by itself. However, if done with negative intent, it can bleed on both parties involved. It is easy to see somebody else doing better than us and to feel jealousy, envy, resentment. Those things are natural to us and in the perfect world, we would get into observer perspective the moment we feel those emotions flooding in and would use this momentum to get curious – not furious. To compare things in a right way means to get inspired and to understand that life is not a competition and there is no point in being better than anyone else – rather than just oneself. But it can spark the negatively driven motivation instantly and create the over-achieving, high-performing shadow over our heads, which can only lead to misery.
What I have observed recently and what I consider to be very interesting, is the concept of buying things. The normal every day shopping creates this spark of joy and makes us feel alive for a second (if that usually isn’t the case). Clothes, cosmetics, house appliances, games – pick your poison. Usually, it stays on the low and is very innocent, except for the rare extreme cases. But what is even more fascinating to me, are the big purchases – like real estate, cars or businesses. There is usually a whole ritual of occurrences, meetings and documentation that need to take place before making such a purchase, which already sounds stressful. And yet, we still religiously believe in this concept of the better future and in the promise of good investments for our retirement. What made me question this concept was a recent interview with the ultra-rich founder of Telegram Pavel Durov, who refuses to own anything. On the outside it seems like this man has reached everyone’s dream – have an idea, execute it perfectly and make a whole bunch of money at a young age, so you don’t have to work anymore and just enjoy life’s blessings. What he proposes is something that could ruin our current economy as we know it – owning things takes away your freedom. The middle-aged billionaire, who could probably easily buy the company that you work in, is just simply not interested in any of that, because he values his freedom the most. I decided to do this mental exercise and imagine what obligations I would have if I would buy an apartment, for example. Paying interest rate, which only makes the banks richer, doing yearly maintenance, worrying about the tenants, taking care of fixing things, paying taxes, getting the right insurance, worrying who will inherit it and hiring a lawyer to write down my will. And God forbid if it burns down or gets flooded. And all this throughout the whole time you own it – so basically from the moment you made your purchase until the day you die. At the end of the mental exercise, I had to ask myself a question – so do I own the apartment or does it own me?
Of course, everyone is absolutely withing their right to do whatever they want with their money and living in a rented home comes with its own disadvantages. What I’m saying is that it is absolutely necessary to ask ourselves, if what we are doing is actually for ourselves or just to impress other people.
It is more important to live in a home that is peaceful, than that which is owned.
Love,
Faja
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